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What would P.T. Barnum drive? A Ninja Hauler

19 Jan

Barnum, possibly the undisputed king of promotion would drive this Ninja hauler below.

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra – $12900 (Ronan / Lake County)

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o’clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn’t meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that’s what your Prius is for. If that’s the kind of car you’re looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn’t even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don’t get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn’t let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don’t even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It’s got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you’re operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you’re being chased by Libyan terrorists, you’ll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It’s saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There’s a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I’ll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don’t walk up and tell me you’ll give me $5,000 for it. That’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let’s just say you won’t be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There’s only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it’s a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I’ll get back to you. And when I do, we’ll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I’m throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can’t fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

Just found out about this today, but after a quick search it looks like it’s a few months old.  Either way, this is some very well written and funny copy.  Ranks right up there with often hilarious copy of woot.com and steepandcheap.com for me.

My recommendation: Check it out, have a great laugh, and then block off your afternoon to figure out how you can inject some of this DNA into your company.

- Gavin

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juxtaposition

21 Jan

BBC WORLD - Occupier/LiberatorBBC WORLD - Occupier/LiberatorBBC WORLD - Occupier/Liberator

I picked up an older Creativy mag off my desk this past weekend and I was flipping through and found the ad above for BBC World. The ad is part of a series run in the United States to pitch BBC World as a news source. I just love these creatives, they are so poignant yet they don’t offend but they do polarize and engage. I’m sure this is why they won a Cannes Lion 2007 Outdoor Gold.

Below is a list of links for the others in the campaign.

Check them out, which is your favorite?

bbc_world_citizens/criminals

bbc_world_befriend/beware

bbc_world_imminent/preventable

bbc_world_occupier/liberator

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i can feel it

17 Dec

I was checking out the top 5 viral videos of 2007 which I got from a WOMMA email and as I watched them (multiple times in some cases) I realized what makes them viral isn’t that they are funny the first time around. They are viral because they are fun to share

I was sharing the Cadbury’s Gorilla one with my boss and as it was playing – even at the very beginning where it is just focused on the gorilla I was just laughing, because I knew what was going to happen which I just thought was hilarious.  Now you could say maybe I like the video because I’m a drummer and I can emphasize, but my guess is that since it’s the number one video there is something much more universal then that in it’s content.

It reminds me vaguely of watching Zoolander the first time and thinking “I can’t believe people like this movie…it’s so stupid” and as people quoted the movie it grew in it’s hilariousness.

All that said, watch one, share one, and laugh.

Have a good day

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no free lunch, or is there?

9 Feb

bottles.gif

One of the oddities of where I live is that we have a lot, a lot of American-Mexican places to eat. One of the places I go frequently is Moe’s. One of the features of Moe’s is that when you walk in they yell, “Welcome to Moe’s” and then that call is echoed by other workers around the store and even by some people that are eating. Funny or Freaky depending on your preference. So it’s already a unique experience.

So at my table was a table-topper that says.

image_059.jpg

“Nothing says Happy Birthday Like a Free Burrito”

Now that’s awesome. What’s there to it? You register online and get a free burrito. [If interested you can do it here] Who doesn’t love a free burrito? Now the adage “there’s no free lunch” applies here, since when I sign up to get my burrito I’m actually paying with the information I supply.

So it’s a promotion that is simple, quirky, and fun to the customer. It uses the voice that customers expect. It epitomizes the Moe’s. And Moe’s get a veritable wealth of information. They get a name, city/state, and where you live in that city, which from which they can determine relative income, etc. and they get your age. Plus a method to contact you, your email. Even better it’s permission based. It’s not spam, you are choosing to give your information, and agree to be contacted. [Now Moe's could take this info and miss-use it, but let's hope for my sake, and theirs it doesn't happen]

In short, it’s simply a great example of a relatively unobtrusive way to create a connection with a customer (and learn a lot about who is buying/visiting your stores).

It may not be completely free, but it will be a nice birthday burrito.

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